


Shotgun

by JessX2231



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drugs, Fluff, M/M, Making Out, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 07:16:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18441677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessX2231/pseuds/JessX2231
Summary: Not the weapon. Or the front seat. Or the beer drinking.Set somewhere between 5x07 and 5x08





	Shotgun

David was in the middle of making plans for the store’s new bathroom when the flawless idea presented itself. Patrick had left the store early to meet Ronnie and discuss their plans for renovation. As they had agreed upon from day one, Patrick handled the business stuff and David was in charge of the creative decisions, so he had spent most of the afternoon walking around the store with a number of potential tile samples to see which one would best match the Rose Apothecary aesthetic. When he returned to the back room to arrange his choices from good to better to best, a brown paper bag caught his eye. 

He had totally forgotten about it, but a quick whiff reminded him what his past self had brilliantly orchestrated.

When Jocelyn pointed out the suspicious scent of Mr. Hockley’s tea at their soft launch, David was quick to defend himself and his vendor. He obviously wouldn’t sell anything in his store that he hadn’t personally approved, so it was a surprise to him when the Schitts ended up being right. Upon further investigation, it turned out Mr. Hockley actually  _ did  _ sell tea, but had a small mix-up with the batch he had packaged for Rose Apothecary.

Three bags were sold to Roland and Jocelyn – he was the mayor, after all, so David didn’t see the harm if it meant making a sale. David then explained the situation to Patrick and why they’d have to end business with Mr. Hockley. But not before David dropped a few bills in the register so he could keep a bag for himself without Patrick getting confused when he eventually did inventory.

It didn’t take long for David to configure the perfect plan. He pulled out his phone and sent Stevie a quick text that read, “I need a favor.”

 

* * *

David walked up to Patrick’s place with the takeout he’d promised to pick up for dinner. It was probably the only time in his life he would suggest they wait a little longer to eat. 

Patrick was sitting at the couch with his laptop on the coffee table, some papers scattered next to it, a mug of tea, and a calculator. Yes, Patrick still used an actual tabletop calculator instead of the one on his phone. David found it fucking adorable.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Hi,” Patrick replied with barely any energy behind it. David placed the food on the counter and looked to see Patrick’s focused expression fixed to his laptop screen.

“What’s this?” David asked, waving his hand over the work fanned out on the table. “Stuff from your meeting with Ronnie?”

Patrick nodded shortly and grunted a noise of agreement, his eyes still intently regarding the screen and papers in front of him. When David sank down next to him, he seemed to snap out of it. “Sorry,” he said, leaning over to properly kiss him hello. “Hi. Yes, just wanted to get some things sorted so she can start as soon as you pick the tiles.”

“That sounds pretty straight forward,” David supplied. “So why do you look like Alexis doing a math problem?”

Patrick shook his head. “I don’t know, it’s nothing in particular. Ronnie promised to get us a good deal on everything, but didn’t really give me any particulars about how exactly she’s going to do that.” He organized the mess of papers scattered on the table and bound them with a paperclip. “And when I tried to explain to her that we need this done in as little time as possible, she kept brushing it off. I’m sure it will be fine, but you know how I am about details.”

“I do.”

“Plus, I haven’t really had enough time to review anything for  _ Cabaret  _ today. And your mom wanted us off book by tomorrow.” 

“Didn’t you get the finalized scripts last night at rehearsal?”

Patrick was quick to follow up. “Exactly. Thankfully, Jocelyn managed to convince her we could use a bit more time. But I doubt it will be that much of an extension.”

David watched Patrick lean back against the couch and rub his face in frustration. He heaved a deep breath, dropped his hands, then looked back at David. “Okay, I’m done.” He held onto David’s hand that was hanging over the back of the couch. “Thank you for listening to me rant.”

David really couldn’t have planned this any better. He gave Patrick a reassuring smile, squeezed his hand, and said, “Well, fortunately for you, I may have a plan to take your mind off things for tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” Patrick asked, his voice hinting and to David’s amusement, completely misled. David still welcomed Patrick’s lips against his, sinking into it easily and momentarily getting sidetracked. But then Patrick pulled back and said, “We should eat first.”

Again, in any other situation, David would have been completely on board, and also touched by how well his boyfriend knew his dedication to every meal. But he had a feeling they’d be even  _ more  _ satisfied with dinner after his little surprise. 

“Actually,” David said slowly, “it’s not quite what you’re thinking.”

Patrick’s eyebrows lifted in surprise and confusion, so pointedly that David almost laughed at his reaction. Which, in all honesty, was totally valid, given the exactly zero times David had ever turned down sex. 

David slipped the joint from his pocket and wiggled it between his fingers in front of Patrick’s face.

“Where did you - ”

“Mr. Hockley,” David replied. “Plus Stevie.”

“Right.”

David had never actually rolled his own joint before. The night a few years ago when he’d discovered Stevie’s cousin’s stash, she gladly took the reins, and every time before that, it would either be delivered to him ready to go or easily packed in a bowl. So, not knowing if his button-up-shirt-wearing, business major, button face boyfriend had ever mastered the ability to roll a joint, he called up a reliable source. Before he closed up the store, Stevie came by to help him out – not without being compensated with her own share, of course. 

“What do you say?” David asked. “Think you can spare an evening getting delightfully high with your boyfriend?”

Patrick chuckled. “Would it surprise you that I’ve never been high before?”

“Not really.”

“I tried smoking once in college - sort of a rite of passage with the baseball team.” Patrick shrugged his shoulders. “I took one hit. Wasn’t for me.”

David hummed and said, “Well, I’d say you’ve enjoyed a lot of new experiences since then.” The joint was still dangling between his fingers. “We could add another to the list?”

Patrick was quiet then, and David knew he was actually considering it. If it had been more of a hard no, he would have dropped it and found a time to smoke with Stevie instead. But Patrick’s lingering curiosity gave David a bit of an upper hand.

David draped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders and leaned in close to his ear. Patrick’s hand found his knee. “It’ll be good to relax,” he said softly. He grazed his teeth over the shell of Patrick’s ear, and felt his boyfriend’s hand tighten on his knee in response. “Before construction starts in the store, or you get wrapped up in rehearsals.”

Patrick took another deep breath before leaning his head against David’s forearm. “Fine,” he said, rolling his eyes and giving his arm a playful bite. “You’re such a bad influence on me.”

David leaned forward to press a series of small kisses to Patrick’s temple. “I know.”

He went to retrieve a lighter while Patrick closed his laptop. David heard him call out, “And you can’t make fun of me for not knowing what to do!” 

David looked back skeptically. “I think it’s a bit of a tall order for you to dissuade anyone from some innocent teasing, Mr. Brewer.” David playfully stroked the hair at the back of Patrick’s head as he made his way around the couch. “Especially me.”

“Okay, fair. But you’ll have to at least help me out.”

“That I can do.” David settled beside Patrick, lighter and joint in hand. “Do you want to watch first, or do you want to just go for it.”

Patrick made himself more comfortable against the cushions, his arms crossed and head tilted. “You can go first.” 

David gave him a quaint smile and wink before flicking the lighter. He brought the joint between his lips and touched the small flame to the opposite end. He watched the paper begin to burn and breathed in carefully. He blissfully closed his eyes as his senses were filled with a familiar rush; the smoke creeping into his lungs, the effort of holding his breath just enough before allowing the steady flow to burn throughout his chest and back out of his mouth. He felt a slight tickle at his throat and released a small cough, opening his eyes and shaking it out. 

His eyes met Patrick’s, which were dark and focused in a way that was usually reserved for the bedroom.  _ Fuck _ , David thought.  _ How do I have him all to myself? _

David cleared his throat while a subtle prickle traveled through his body. “It’s been a minute,” David said, acknowledging the cough. 

Patrick leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, still angled toward David. “I did not expect that that be as hot as it was.”

David preened, anticipating he’d feel similarly to watching Patrick take a hit. “Your turn,” he said, holding out the joint.

Patrick took it without any familiarity, but plenty of certainty. His eyes flickered to David’s, waiting for more guidance. 

“Make sure your lips aren’t too wet, and breathe it in slowly. Take a moment to hold it in, then when you feel ready, slowly breathe out.” David scooted closer. “You’ll likely cough, but the first one is the worst.”

David’s arm was propped on the back of the couch, his hand under his chin while he watched Patrick bring the joint to his lips. It was a slow drag, just as he’d suggested, but it was too much all at once. When Patrick attempted to hold his breath, David saw a hitch in his chest. Smoke unsteadily billowed out of his mouth while he coughed. David nodded and reached out to hold the back of Patrick’s neck. He delicately brushed his thumb along Patrick’s hairline while he let out a few more coughs that shook his shoulders. 

“Jesus,” Patrick croaked, his eyes slightly watering. 

“I know,” David said, his hand sliding across Patrick’s shoulders to give him an encouraging squeeze. “The next one will be easier. Promise.”

Patrick handed him back the joint and David took a slow hit. It was a lot smoother than the first, the ease radiating in his chest before exhaling through his nose. He sunk back into the couch, already allowing his bones to get heavy and his head feel lighter. 

Patrick took the joint once again and chuckled at David. “You’re a pro. Should I be concerned?”

David closed his eyes and shook his head. “Not in the slightest. I’m far too controlling to be high all the time.” He reached over and felt around until his hand landed on Patrick’s thigh. He ran a soothing hand over his jeans and tugged playfully at one his belt loops. “Try a shorter drag this time.” David rolled his head to the side and peeked his eyes open. “Okay?”

Patrick nodded and followed David’s instructions. David had to admit, he was shamelessly captivated by the sight of his boyfriend  _ smoking _ . Patrick was still a little clumsy as he held the joint and his shorter drag was still followed by a few coughs, but David was getting explicitly turned on by the smoke cascading past Patrick’s lips. He didn’t know if it was the newness of it, or just the fact he was so attracted to Patrick that he could make anything look way hotter than usual, but he didn’t feel the need to question it. He’d rather just enjoy it.

They continued passing the joint back and forth, making silly comments about missed opportunities with Mr. Hockley’s business and David’s past experiences with dealers. But there also wasn’t any pressure to fill the silent moments in between. It was surprisingly sweet and wonderfully ridiculous, which David couldn’t help but note was perhaps the best way to describe his relationship with Patrick.

David was feeling so comfortable, he may as well have been floating. He delicately touched his lips to the now smaller joint and sucked in a slow and short breath. His eyes met Patrick’s and they remained locked on each other while David exhaled at an agonizingly slow pace. By this point, they had not only glued themselves to the comfort and familiarity of the couch, but also to the simple bliss of regarding one another’s space, just close enough for subtle touches, but not full on cuddling. David was delighted when Patrick closed the distance between them with his gentle lips against his jaw. His sweet kisses had David positively melting, happy to lean into his boyfriend’s touch.

“Mmm,” David hummed. Patrick continued to nuzzle his face closer against David’s stubble, his tongue peeking out to taste just below his ear and occasionally grazing his teeth against his skin. It was maddening and fantastic.

Patrick’s lips traveled closer to David’s, but he paused them with a soft hand on Patrick’s chest. “Wait.” Patrick pulled back, his eyes slightly lidded but attentive. David regarded the joint between his fingers and asked, “Can we try something?”

“Sure.”

David moved closer so his right leg was pressed against Patrick’s left, their faces mere inches from one another. Before leaning in, David took another drag, longer this time. Patrick’s eyes followed and David caught his recognition at exactly the right moment. 

Once David was ready, he captured Patrick’s open mouth with his own. He felt Patrick’s hand slip around to the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. David blew the smoke into Patrick’s mouth while Patrick did his best to inhale. 

He had to pull away to cough. 

David held Patrick’s hand that had moved to his shoulder. “Sorry,” he said. “Maybe you try?”

Patrick nodded and carefully grabbed the joint. He breathed in the smoke and David was quick to meet his mouth once more. This time, David inhaled the smoke from Patrick’s mouth with practiced ease. He felt Patrick relax into it as he exhaled, his lips pressing against David’s a little sloppily but still somehow perfectly. They each found a rhythm, controlling the air between them just enough to feel one another’s push and pull. Once they finished, they each took a few steadying breaths before leaning back in for more. This time, it didn’t take long for their focused attention to drop. David’s kisses were full and needy and rich with passion. He allowed his body to embrace the gentle buzzing and sense of calm that overtook him when he got high, and poured all of that energy into the physical ache that craved Patrick’s touch. It was always too much and never enough and David had no interest in ever solving that puzzle.

Thankfully, David was coherent enough to momentarily snap out of his moment of bliss when both of Patrick’s hands reached for the sides of his face. 

“Patrick!” David yelled around a laugh. He held Patrick’s forearm and directed his gaze to the joint still in his hand, his eyes wide in disbelief. “Are you trying to kill me?”

Patrick chuckled. “Of course not,” he said before pressing a kiss to David’s forehead. “Sorry.” He looked around them, and without taking much time to actually consider what he was doing, decided to drop the joint into his now cold cup of tea. 

David’s head fell into his hands and his shoulders shook from laughter. “Oh my god. You’re an idiot.”

“Hey, we’re done with that, right?” Patrick scrambled back onto the couch and reached for David’s hands to pull them away from his face. “Because now I need to make out with you.”

David’s eyes squinted as he continued to laugh and nod. Patrick was smiling back at him and they both grinned into the kiss. It started out silly and sweet with playful hands roaming down chests and across backs, and then when they settled into it, the warmth that had been radiating throughout David’s body turned into a new kind of heat. There was a pull at the pit of his stomach that felt even more sensitive to Patrick’s touch now that he was riding his high. 

He couldn’t get enough. 

He reached around to pull Patrick’s shirt out of his pants. While he did, Patrick climbed into his lap, straddling him on the couch and pressing their hips together. David pressed up to meet him, his lips capturing Patrick’s in a searing kiss. He ran his tongue along Patrick’s bottom lip before grabbing it between his teeth. David slipped one hand under Patrick’s shirt and the other into the back pocket of his jeans. 

“This was such a good idea, David,” Patrick said, the words rushed and desperate against David’s lips. 

“I know,” David replied, using his grip on Patrick’s ass to pull him closer. Patrick went willingly, rocking down to meet David and adding to the delicious pressure. 

“I like you in my lap,” David said mischievously.

“Yeah?” Patrick breathed before leaning down to kiss him again. David welcomed the hot stroke of Patrick’s tongue against his own, the sensation instantly sparking another jolt of his hips. He moaned as Patrick’s thighs tightened and began rocking against him more purposefully. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Patrick mumbled. His hands grabbed at the hem of David’s sweater. “Take this off.”

David did so quickly. Patrick placed a hand in the middle of his bare chest as the other grabbed at his hair a little desperately. 

David smiled and reached up to loosen Patrick’s grip. “I’m right here, honey,” he said around a giggle. “Promise, I’m not going anywhere.”

Patrick laughed in response and instead wrapped his arm around the back of David’s neck. He pressed his face to the space just below David’s ear, using his teeth to tug at his earlobe while his thumb traveled over to one of his nipples. David sighed contently, his head falling back against the couch cushions. 

“Do you feel good?” Patrick whispered.

David merely hummed in response, both of his hands traveling up Patrick’s back beneath his shirt.

“I bet you do.” The unrecognizable lilt in Patrick’s voice gave David pause, but quickly forgot about it when Patrick kissed his ear, his jaw, his lips. His eyes were closed and their noses were pressed together while he cupped David’s face in both hands and said, “ _ Wie geht's _ ?  _ Comment sa va _ ?”

David barked out a laugh and shook his head. “I know you’re high right now, Patrick, but what the fuck?”

Patrick giggled and managed to control himself long enough to hum out a familiar tune while he nosed along David’s hairline. David’s head was spinning in the most enjoyable way that he almost didn’t care that his boyfriend was acting like a total weirdo. Until he started singing more confidently.

“ _ Willkommen _ !  _ And bienvenue _ !” He nipped at David’s jaw. “Welcome!”

“Oh my god.”

“ _ Fremder _ ,  _ étranger _ , stranger.” Patrick’s voice was raspier than normal and he eventually gave in to another fit of laughter. His head fell forward onto David’s shoulder. “What the fuck are those words?”

“You’re the one saying them,” David answered, laughing along with him. It didn’t take long for both of them to lose themselves in their own fits of laughter, Patrick rolling off David’s lap and falling sideways onto the couch, while David hunched forward and steadied himself with a hand on Patrick’s shoulder. 

David loved getting giggly when he was high. It felt so carefree and silly in a way he never was, even with Patrick. While there had certainly been plenty of people in his life to witness him in that state, it felt extra special sharing the experience with Patrick. Rather than it being another side of David that Patrick would have to work to uncover, it was his for the taking. And David’s for the giving. And he did so, gladly. Effortlessly.

David let out a deep breath to regain his composure and fell back against the already worn in pillows on Patrick’s couch. “Thank you,” David said, his hand reaching up to fit easily against Patrick’s cheek. “This is nice.”

“Mm, thank  _ you _ ,” Patrick said. David welcomed Patrick back into his space, sinking into another kiss. David let out a small whine at the feeling of Patrick’s hand creeping up his thigh and pressing the heel of his hand between his legs. And then all of sudden, Patrick pulled back and said, “Hold that thought.” At David’s confused expression, Patrick continued, “I’m fucking starving.”

David’s eyes turned to daggers, but after another moment of thought, his stomach felt emptier than it ever had in his life. Which was saying something, for David.

“Fine,” he replied. He leaned in as if he was going to kiss Patrick again, but stopped just short of his lips. His smile gleamed. “Having you join me will be a nice change from the shame eating I usually do when I’m high.”

“Exactly. No shame to be found here.” Patrick held David’s hand and kissed his cheek. “In here, life is beautiful.”

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing something after "the hike" but then this popped in my head and i take forever to finish things so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> also i've never actually smoked weed before but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ x2. thanks for reading!


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